Today we explore your pathway and where you are meant to be going. Through pathway divination you will gain insight to your higher calling…Let’s begin! Take a deep breath, sit back in your chair and scroll slowly through the images below and notice which one of them calls your attention most strongly. When you have chosen your path, scroll to the end of the page and you will find out where you are meant to be going in this life! Easy!
And now for the divination!
1. Tunnel…
You may feel as if you are in a dark space at the moment, but never fear, there is light just ahead and you will be illumined. You are not a Shaman, but you do have special gifts to share and would make a good counsellor, soothing the minds of troubled people who are also travelling through dark spaces.
2. Rainforest path…
Your life has generated a lot of compost, so what are you going to do with it? There is no point just crunching over those fallen leaves. Look inside and find your inner worms and beetles to start breaking it down to find new fertility of heart and soul. You are not a Shaman.
3. Misty path…
You are interested in etherial subjects and have dabbled in the Occult. You have psychic gifts and can see through the mists of time. You should keep a journal and wear a watch to make sure you don’t lose your foothold in the here and now. You are not a Shaman, but make a good friend for Shamans. Send me your phone number.
4. Wooden bridge…
You are a practical person, never daunted by gaps and lack of knowledge. You quickly bridge your ignorance with facts and so make good progress in the material world. You will make a lot of money and will enjoy prosperity. You are definitely not a Shaman, but you would benefit from Shamanic Services. Send me your contact details.
5. Fresh concrete…
You are a pragmatic person, full of initiative. When you see a problem you fix it. As a fixer you miss many of the subtle aspects of life and can focus so much on the immediate issue that you miss the bigger picture, like that godawful wall ahead of you. Open your eyes and look ahead. You are not a Shaman.
6. Forest path…
You have a green aura and are drawn deep into the heart of nature. It is no surprise that you are an environmental activist and that you would gladly lay down your life to save a forest. The forest energies watch you and keep you honest… Don’t lay down your life – lay down your wallet instead. Keep up the good work and consider coming to my Shamanic training, starting soon.
7. Concrete bridge…
You are a bit of a wannabe environmentalist. A bit of a hipster. Let’s face a few facts…Nature is beautiful and that is a piece of god-ugly infrastructure…what were you thinking? You are not a Shaman, but you do need some training. I recommend you learn some basic aesthetic principles as a starter. Get some books out of a library…Visit an art gallery.
8. Alleyway…
You, my friend are an urbanite with attitude. Your higher calling is to invest in an alpaca farm and start spinning yarn so that you can discover your creative heart and warm up the cold urban centres of the world with yarn bombing. You are not a Shaman but you are potentially creative. Get knitting.
white earlobe 
Dear White Earlobe, Thank you for your wisdom. I have always been afraid of tunnels. I have been told that if I ride seven Citycycle bikes through the clem7, I would be cured. Does this concur with your reading of numerology?
Oh dear, that does sound unfortunate. According to my divination you live in a tunnel-infested city…I see megafauna termites chomping their way through the land, upsetting the ley lines and weather patterns. I do think a cure is needed, not just for you but for the entire city. I’ll work on the city later… For now, take a deep breath, and take one step towards that oddly named tunnel. Check for traffic. Rather than bicycles, borrow 7 donkeys and harness them to a cart and put the following personal items in a bag and then place the bag in the cart: a finger nail clipping, a used shirt, a smelly sock, and a photo of you at the age when you first noticed your tunnel phobia. Send the 7 donkeys through the tunnel and run to the other end to beckon them forward with 42 organic carrots. Repeat this 7 days later, and again, all the way through to 5 February 2014. This will cure your phobia and guarantee some local notoriety. You may be arrested if you don’t get a donkey permit, and your donkeys may be impounded, but it is truly worth the risk. You will then be able to walk happily through your next tunnel.
White Earlobe, I recently moved from a town where the spirit of the place was almost certainly on the tunnel path – so much so it appears to have become embodied with quite the tunnel vision!
I suspect the spirit of the place in the town I moved to is well up the alleyway path.
I myself have mostly been on the misty path, but on the odd occasion (or 3) I have found myself halfway over a wooden bridge about to step in fresh concrete!
White earlobe, my best metaphor to describe negotiating these many paths at their different levels is like reading Foucalt whilst walking a meditation wheel after a month long vision quest in my sacred homelands near Balaclava. I would be so pleased to hear your advice for a serial (and let’s face it – slightly addicted) pathwalker.
My dear Mandalu, I recognise you as a kindred Shaman Spirit. I shall call you Little Sister. Little Sister, I am glad to hear you have managed to find the manifold paths and that they have absorbed your consciousness. I wonder if Deleuze and Guattari might not be a better philosophical fit for you with their treatise on the Rhizome versus the Tree. You do seem to be spreading like buffalo grass all over the fertile astral void, rather than rising like a grand oak. As buffalo grass you will survive many dry seasons, forest fires, tornados and other severe weather effects much better than a poor old Oak. Little Sister take a deep breath and always look at the path before you, middle distance and with eyes off focus. Carry a collection of bookmarks to save the page you are reading. This will give you greater powers of discernment and help you find your best way. Always check for traffic and use bear bells when in the forest.
Thank you, White Earlobe. It’s a true delight to have a friend and shamanic mentor (as compared to a friend who is a shamanic minotaur…..no offense Chiron). I will scour ebay for bear bells.